Train up a child in THE way that he should go

Look at these pictures and I do wonder what my dear children will become when they grow up.......Parenting is such a heavy responsibility and daunting that sometimes I feel inadequate to do it. God has indeed sent such an inexperienced parent to do this gigantic task! How should I TRAIN them.......

I realised in order to be a good role model for my child to emulate, I need to change and constantly remind myself of my glaring flaws. I learn to think more positively myself as I'm teaching my eldest daughter to have a postive mindset about her ability. I realised that our children are watching us closely and learning can be very subtle. I also learn to control my impending anger especially with irritable situations. I blurted out while driving" Go! Go! Silly driver...." hee hee Yes I do say that when my girl was sitting right next to me and she actually emulated my tone and words few days later.

Most importantly, I want my children to base their self-worth not on anything like appearance, acclaim, status, popularity but on God alone. I need them to know that if we based our identity on other aspects, we will only get disappointed and frustrated. Our real identity is based on Him. And I have to make sure I do that myself cos I usually compare my self worth with secular success that usually brings immediate disappointment and impending depression! I do not want my children to set themselves up to constant world comparison, but to reach their God given potential confidently in their comfortable pace.

Next, I need to pray and seek God more, so that my children see that our God is REAL in this household and they themselves will seek them especially when venture toward adulthood. It was found on a survey done by Shaunti Feldhadn that "that the fact that God might be disappointed in them was a bigger influence than whether their parents would be disappointed." The world is more complicated than our era, our children are learning from media, peers, school, everywhere......So now I have to train my children to know our God, to have personal relationship with Him too before it is too late...I need to lay clear boundaries for them now, before my children embark into teenage identity-creating years. YES and all these just happen in the blink of an eye, so I can't just procrastinate, but be active in my parenting which has a lifelong impact, training them in the way that they should go.... HOWEVER, GOD SHOW ME THE WAY FIRST and NOW PLEASE!!!

Sanity

I NEED SANITY!!!! This homemaker job is NO DOUBT one of the toughest job in the world. Not only this it is a no pay, no leave, no intellectual and social stimulation job, it is also a job that is constantly harassed by your loved ones. No wonder not many mummies do not want to take up this role as it requires lots of self motivation, prayers, self talk to convince oneself it's long term investment. Sometimes I feel like quiting when my patience, love and joy seems running so low. Somehow it seems that your children bullies you perpetually! And it is so hurting and frustrating that u feel so defeated after a long fight especially with a terrible two toddler who insists her rights all the time. Power struggles fights with loved ones are the most exhausting........What I like to do during such low time is get my latte, or escape to the bathroom and have a hot bath, call a friend and complain, watch my Hongkong drama series, pray, or even writing blog. Writing this blog helps me to keep things in a right perspective, to see my life in a bigger picture. So sorry if u feel a little bored here.....hee hee cos It is A way for me to regain equilibrium for my IMMEDIATE sanity and to continue to work " effectively" as a mother and wife.......THANK YOU so much for encouraging friends who believe in me and have assisted my sanity recovery program!!!!!

My Sweet hubby, ah lao

Yes, I addressed him ah lao cos we have been married for so long. Whoa, yes a DECADE! I want to grow old with this man and still be madly in love with him. BUT I know this take 3 to make it happen. God, my ah lao and myself. This divine marriage is hard work and it is worth all the time, effort and money to invest in. The first thing I need to remind myself is to learn to remember my hubby's effort to show me his WAY of love. I usually forget conveniently when I really mad with him, and yet become a instant historian about his past mistakes.... I know I'm being so unfair and unreasonable. SO NOW, I want to practice to remember actively all the good conscious effort he has shown me the past few years! Thank you my dear ah lao!!!!

1. Bought me flowers when he was away and thank me for taking care of our children when he went for oversea assignment.
2. Bought me Tiffany ring, bracelet, necklace
3. Bought me spa and facial package when we were in Shanghai
4. Bought me SKII when he went overseas assignment recently
5. Took leave on my birthday and spend the entire day with me
6. Bought snacks for me when I complained incessantly about being a homemaker
7. Allow me to buy Non essential stuff and go for coffee breaks when I'm down
8. Let me have my western kind of breakfast even though he prefers mee poh than bacon and egg.
9. Accompanied me during my night shifts.
10. Let me sleep till late morning to catch up the lapses
11. Called periodically and asked about my " survival state"
12. Gave me surprised a diamond ring on Christmas. I actually cried cos I really wanted him to propose to me again when he forgot how he did it in the first place!
13. Bake me a birthday cake long long time ago.
14. Let me sleep on his lap for straight 5 hours during our ride back from States to Canada.
15. Hugged me and hold be tight when I needed comfort recently.
16. Cried when he thought I was lost in a snow storm in canada.
17. Bought me food when I had my internship in the hospital.
18. Bought me dough nuts specially for me after I gave birth to Venecia and Gabriel
19. Bought me muffins/ or my favourite la po bing occasionally.
20. Pays for the household bills

21. Spends time with our children
22. Runs errands for our family.
23. Provides plenty of money for food, clothings , toys and my lattes
24. Fetches Venecia and Valerie and me from school
25. Brings valerie to her enrichment classes
26. Spends more undivided time with me.
27. Works hard to provide becon for this family
28. Wakes up every night to pacify Venecia

28. Cooked me Mee suah when I was down with chicken pox in Canada

29. Fetched me when I'm out for my facial

30. Planned how to celebrate our ten year wedding anniversary

31. Makes effort to listen attentively not selectively

32. Comes back for dinner

33. Remembers my birthdays, anniversaries
34. Picked me up from my depression when I was so down in Canada
35. His thoughtfullnes during my 1st pregnancy esp when we went Mt Buller in Melbourne
35. Joined me for lunch dates in Shanghai
36. Bought issurance policies for all of us

37. Bought me a laptop

38. Bought me a handphone recently

My Choice

I believe it is a freewill decision, a conscious choice for me to be either a homemaker or a career woman. I have chosen willingly to be a HOMEMAKER and I believe it is right choice for me at this moment, this season.

Yes, I remember a vivid image of a stylish MODERN mummy who drove a BMW convertible came to fetch her preschooler. How I envied her , I wanted to be like her..... BUT when I first became a MUM many years ago, these were the QUESTIONS that I ask myself "Do I want to take a risk to see how my children grow up without a nurturing figure during their formative years?" Can I pursue my dreams, my purchasing power, my status in the expense of my children's psychological well being during their growing up years? Who would be there to encourage or comfort my hurting, scared child if I'm I busy at work? Can I REALLY balance my work and family life well? I doubt so.... really doubt it. Maybe I can return to the workforce when they are more physically and psychologically more independent. I tell myself repeatedly that there is a TIME for everything. A critical time for nurturing and meet their heartfellt needs during formative years, and a time to let go gradually during their school age years.

I thank God that my husband is able to provide for our "big" family of five. It is not easy for him, but He does it really well!!! I always joked that he needs to work hard to buy 4 types of milk powder for his children!!! Not only did he provides bacon for this family, he also adores his children and makes time for all of us individually. Most importantly, he also helps me alot in adapting this homemaker role. I struggled with this role so much and he takes effort to convince me to believe in myself, my worthy role. He always affirms my role and helps out when he comes back from work. The truth is I also feel extremely satisfied to assist him to climb up his career ladder while I make sure that his home base is doing fine.....

Yes, we could do so much more if I were to work and chip in financially. We can have more in material sense, more luxurious holidays, more expensive dining, more branded clothes, shoes, bags, whatever... NOW, We just have to assess our NEEDS and WANTS all the time, to cut down on lustful DESIRES. BUT are we going to have more family time, more laughter, more bonding time as a family when both are working in the corporate world?

Indeed a homemaker job isn't easy, this is a MUNDANE and exhausting job 24/7/365 with no pay, no leave, no appraisal, no compensation and benefit, no OVERSEAS conference, no lunch or teabreak, no status, no socialisation, but the intangible BENEFITS are very memorable and fulfilling in the long run. A job or INVESTMENT that most mummies never regret because you see them grow up literally before your eyes and a strong bond is cultivated literally day by day. I know my children just love having mummy around and to help them to face this harsh world confidently in a gradual way. Now is the time for me to instil in my young children positive attitude in believing in themselves and teach them to have positive mindset when they feel overwhelmed emotionally or socially. I want to equip them LIFE SKILLS that help them to excel and reach their greatest God given potential and lead a meaningful, well-adjusted responsible life in the long run! BUT all these need heaps of patience, love, endurance, wisdom and even joy.....so LORD, please do GRANT me all that I need to be a GODLY MUMMY!