I have been trying to stay above the water lately...... Sometimes I can't help it but feel this constant pull by my circumstances. I can't keep my head above the water level. HELP!!!! Every part of me wants to quit!!!! This homemaker job is getting ever more challenging, more mundane than ever and less appreciated. I doubt I have much motivation except my faith that keeps me going. Many friends, cousins and relatives never expect this rambutious, extrovert and Career minded Meiling would ended up a homemaker. I played soccer, hockey, basketball anything that has sun around.... I'm there. I'm famous for not staying at home especially during my holidays.... Now I'm stucked at home most of the time, talking to children day in and day out. Adult and intellectually stimulating conversation is rare now.
During my school days, i studied really hard for my grades to enter university, especially in a private school. Then I worked hard for my distinictions during my Bsc and postgraduate so that I could get a good job.... Hee hee but I ended a job that requires no resume but requires someone with high EQ, tons of patience, love, organizational and culinary skills, and delayed gratification. I muz admit that I run super low in all these qualities! I don't have a degree in homemaking!!! How do I excel in this????? I'm not a meticulous person but someone very vivacious and outdoor. I love the sun, I love to meet people, I love to talk, I love to buy my own things...... This homemaking job does not fit me at all......
There is a season for eveything. I know this is the wisest choice for me NOW!!!! I'm willing to learn, to juggle with this complicated role that requires multiple skills. I'm improving my cooking skills... I'm learning how to be a tutor, a taxi driver that is on time, a domestic cleaner that is more meticulous, a grocery shopper that knows where to get the cheap and fresh food......,I know I can!!! I need to keep on trying n never give up. My feelings tell me otherwise at times but I'm trying my best not to be controlled by my feelings.. My God is a big God, He is
teaching me something here......My lord...... Give me the stength to hang in there!Change my mindset about being overwhelmed by 3 children.
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